When you take my arm like am your 90 year old granny, it hurts my feelings. I understand that you want to help me. But I am not an invalid. I can walk and if I need help I will ask for it. Or hey, maybe I'll fall. I'm a grown person, I'll deal. Stumbling isn't the worse thing that could happen.
I understand that you want to help me and take care of me, but when you do it like am either an old person or a very young child, it makes me feel like I am LESS. We are supposed to be partners in this relationship. Equals. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.
We are at the sickness part. I can still be a partner. I am still here. Please treat me like I am still here. Do not lessen me more than my disability already has. I have already lost so much. Do I have to feel like I have lost a partner too?
I have not asked you to take care of me. I may occasionally (rarely) ask you for help. And I try not to do that. I have always been the strong partner. I am loathe to give that up. But I have NEVER asked you to take care of me. The time may come down the road where you may be forced into that position. Why are you trying to go there now?
I want to just be partners and deal with everything equally. I want us to look at each situation/problem: physical (my disability), mental (your ADHD), financial, your going back to school, the kids, whether we are moving or not, etc. as things we need to face together.
And I still want us to be a couple. A lovey-dovey couple. I don't want to be shut out because you think of me as an invalid. Or because you don't think I have any interest anymore.
I am still here. I am still me. I am trapped in this disability. I want to be normal, but I can't.
Don't take any more from me.
